Cracks on the Glass
by jhuniemarieilarde
Summary: Alex Cross is a tough agent and is very good at what she does but just like everyone else, she's also a human. With her demanding career, the toll is becoming too much for her to shove away and it's finally showing despite her great attempt to cover it up. Will the team be able to save her before the job or she , herself, destroys herself?
1. Chapter 1

**I WAS A BIT HESITANT TO WRITE THIS FANFIC BECAUSE I HAVEN'T SEEN THE ENTIRE SEASON OF UC: UNDERCOVER. I JUST CAN'T FIND IT ANYWHERE. (I WOULD APPRECIATE IT IF SOMEONE CAN HELP ME OUT). I LOVE ALEX CROSS SO MUCH FROM THE BITS I SAW. SHE JUST SEEMED SO MYSTERIOUS TO ME SO I DECIDED TO WRITE SOMETHING ABOUT HER. I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS. THANKS!**

* * *

Alex is sitting by herself devouring her cigarette and black coffee. The last assignment has been tough. They managed to get the target but it took a toll on her after she's forced to kill him with her bare hands by choking him. She has taken lives before but it's always been with her weapon. It felt different. It should feel different. She has no choice. It's either him or her and she has to survive. Though her action was justified, it doesn't feel right and she's been beating herself up for it for days.

She kept puffing smokes in her mouth and then chased it with caffeine. Alex couldn't even tell the time anymore. She knows she's been in the office for hours but she didn't expect that she already stayed overnight. The only thing that informed her about it is Frank walking in and finding her wearing the same clothes with her cigarette and coffee.

"Why are you here this early? Wait. You didn't go home, did you? I can tell you haven't slept either", he asked as he walks towards her.

Alex checked her watch and saw it's almost six in the morning. The windows are closed so she wasn't able to see if the sun is about to shine outside.

"I lost track of time", she answered.

Frank saw bunch of cigarette's butts in the ashtray on the table which tells him that's all she's been doing since they all went home last night.

"Alex, go home and get some sleep", he said.

"I'm fine, Frank. I think I just need to hit the shower upstairs. I do have extra clothes in the car", she refused.

He watched her get on her feet. Her hands are shaking as she continues to smoke. She's heading outside to get her clothes in her car when Frank grabbed her arm to stop her.

"You can't do this to yourself, Alex", he muttered.

"I don't know what you're talking about and please let go of my arm", she denied but he didn't let her go.

"You're self-destructing. I didn't say a word after the assignment because I know it's natural to feel shaken about it afterwards but it's been two weeks now and you need to pull it together. If you keep doing this, you're going to kill yourself", he explained.

Alex frowned, never wanting to be defeated by her boss in argument. After all, she's a former US attorney. Argument is her forte.

"What do you mean exactly by what I'm doing? I am doing my job and despite whatever issues I have, I am nailing every assignment you throw my way. Isn't that enough for you? My personal life or what I do on my spare time is none of your business so I suggest that you drop it", she exclaimed and pulled back her arm with such force that Frank accidentally scratched her bare skin but she didn't flinch.

She was about to head out but he grabbed her again and this time pinned her against the wall so she wouldn't escape him.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"You stopped eating anything. All you do is smoke cigarettes, drink black coffee and whisky at night. You barely sleep even when we're on the road and now, you just decided to stop sleeping at all. I am not Monica but I don't have to be a profiler to know that you're destroying yourself even if you're not aware of it. If you don't let it out, Alex, you're suffering will never end. Trust me. I know. Yes, your personal life is not my business but right now what you're doing is making you less equipped as my agent and I can't have you less than a hundred percent of your capacity because you're the best agent I got and this team will fall apart if we lose you so help me out here. Help me keep this team together. If you don't want to help yourself, help the team", he said.

Alex didn't respond after that. Frank could swear that he almost caught a glimpse of her tears but she held it back and maintained a stone cold look on her face like she's facing a target.

"Are you done?" she asked in a cold tone.

Frank released her from his grasped. He didn't realize he's holding her tight because her arms are now red and he's sure she'll get bruises later on.

"Yes", he answered.

"Okay. I'll get my clothes and take a shower. The others will be here in a few hours", she said and then left.

* * *

Monica already informed him that Alex tends to shut people out when she's going through something. She doesn't like sharing at all and she has built a huge wall around her so she can protect herself. He didn't think that wall will be as high as the mountain and thick as the rock. He needs to break that wall because if he doesn't, she will shut down.

Monica laid out their next mission. It's another gang but this time, their business is human trafficking. They illegally transport people from other countries with a promise of a better life in the United States of America but once they arrived, they inject them with drugs and sell them to men to become their sex slaves.

The plan is to have Jake pose as a 'wanna be' member of the gang by offering Alex to the group. Frank will be the buyer interested in Alex. Once the transaction is done, the authorities will move in to bust the group. It is simple plan and normally Frank has no problem with it except that he doesn't want to send in Alex, not after what he saw earlier.

"Monica will not fit the profile of their victims. They go for foreigners who can barely speak English", Jake explained to Frank when he expressed his disapproval to send Alex in.

"She can pull this off. It will be fast. Plus, Jake will be there with her and you", Cody added.

Frank was about to argue when Alex started speaking Ukrainian. Everyone looked at her in awe. She then proceeded to talk in Spanish which surprised all of them even more.

"My mother is from Ukraine and I studied Spanish, Portuguese, and Russian in college. Which nationality you want me to be?" Alex asked.


	2. Chapter 2

Frank wasn't able to stop Alex from going undercover. He knows she's the best candidate to do it. He's just being protective and doesn't want her to take more toll from the job but Alex is the type of agent who will do anything she can for a mission.

The team positioned themselves. Cody and Monica stationed themselves inside the van while Jake and Alex came out of the car already dressed in character.

"Ready to do this?" Jake asked.

He noticed too how she's turned since their last assignment but decided not to confront her about it because if he does, she will ice him out and he doesn't want her to go cold on him.

"Yeah…pretend I don't speak English. How hard can it be?" she answered with a fake smile.

"We're coming in on five. Once we got the exchange of money on cam, the feds will move in", Frank said on comms.

Jake grabbed Alex's arm and dragged her inside the bar where tons of guys are waiting. They led them to the lounge while Cody and Monica are monitoring them through the secret cameras Cody planted on both of them.

"That's Isaac Finch. He's the leader of the group", Monica said.

Jake silently acknowledged what she said and proceeded to start the negotiation.

"You must be Carl Hutton. I'm Isaac Finch", the guy in an expensive suit said to Jake.

"I know. Your reputation precedes you. I want you to meet Katya. She's from Ukraine and looking for some job opportunities here in America", he said pointing to Alex who's pretending she doesn't understand a word their saying.

Isaac turned to Alex with fascination in his eyes. He's appreciating her beauty from head to toe and seeing potential of big profit from her.

"Well, it's amazing she crossed path with you because now, she's here", Isaac muttered and then turned to Alex. "What kind of job you're interested in, sweetheart?" he asked.

Alex maintained her cold blue eyes and looked at him.

"_я тут, щоб працювати за гроші__/__ya tut, shchob pratsyuvaty za hroshi_ (I am here to work for money)" she said.

Jake tried his best to hide the smile on his face. He's very impressed by his friend speaking in a language he doesn't understand at all.

"I forgot to tell you. She doesn't speak English. She does have her dictionary though if communication is important for you", Jake said.

Isaac's face looked like Christmas came early for him. He began talking with Jake about his terms and future job opportunities if he can still produce girls like Alex for him.

Meanwhile, something or rather someone caught Alex's eyes. She almost froze when she saw him. It's Carlos Cortez staring right back at her with the same surprised look on his face. He obviously didn't expect to see her again, much importantly, in the situation their in. He also knew that she's working and that there's going to be bust sooner or later. Alex is the first one to break the staring contest to avoid breaking her cover.

"In fact, I have a newly interested customer who is looking for exotic foreign beauties", Isaac said to Jake.

The door opened and Frank came in posing as an interested buyer. Everything is in place. All they need is for Isaac to ask money from Frank and then pay Jake. The job will be done.

"What do you think?" Isaac asked Frank.

He looked at Alex while keeping his cover.

"She's pretty, just how I like it. How much?" he answered then asked him back.

Isaac laughed.

"That's why I like this getleman! Straight to business. We have a rule here about new girls coming. I know buyers like their products fresh and all but it's tradition", Isaac said.

Jake and Frank looked at each other. They are unaware of the said rule. Alex's heart is literally pounding hard inside her chest and Carlos can see that she's becoming nervous.

"What rule?" Frank asked.

"We need to test first the product before handing her over. Luckily for us, we just got our delivery of drugs we can test on her", Isaac answered.

One of his guys opened a suitcase filled with liquid drugs and syringe. Alex turned to Carlos giving him a look that he knows the meaning.

"That's fine, Mr. Finch. I like my lady conscious", Frank said trying to take control of the situation.

"Oh, don't worry about it. She'll remain conscious. This stuff is the best. It will only make her submissive to all your biddings. That's all. So, I will have one of my guys test her first while we discuss the price and then once they're done, she's all yours", Isaac insisted.

Jake clenched his fists inside his jacket while maintaining the calm look on his face. Alex swallowed a little still pretending to not understand them. Frank wanted to call it off but they can't. They will not come out there alive if they blow their cover and they will lose their chance to get them. On the other hand, he can't allow any of them to violate and drug Alex. He's torn between doing his job and protecting his agent.

"Do it fast. Once they take Alex away, you force the transaction down his throat and offered him an amount he will never refuse and demand to take Alex immediately before they can do stuff with her", Monica advised.

That's the best they got.

"Fine. I want it to be quick. I have an appointment", Frank agreed coldly.

Alex and Jake understood it well since they're both wearing comms but Carlos doesn't have one of those so for him, Frank's approval is alarming.

"Good…give her a shot of that and…Gary, it's your chance", Isaac instructed.

"I want to do the testing", Carlos intervened making her presence known to both Jake and Frank and to Monica and Cody in the van.


	3. Chapter 3

"What is he doing there?" Cody exclaimed.

Alex is having a hard time hiding her panic inside. Everything is getting out of control for her.

"Carlos? I didn't know you're interested in this kind of thing", Isaac said to him.

"Well, what can I say? She got me with those blue eyes. Come on, Isaac. I rarely ask anything from you. In fact, this is the one time I did. Consider this like I owe you one", Carlos explained.

He's not an undercover agent but he's very good lying straight to Isaac's eyes.

"Of course, Carlos! Gary…you'll have your turn next time. She's yours Carlos", Isaac approved.

His guys asked Alex to sit down. She pretended a little to not understand before taking a seat. One of them filled up a syringe and even thought she knows they will put that in her, she acted like she's in a panic at the sight of the syringe. She muttered something in Ukrainian first to keep her cover before the guy injected her with drugs.

Frank and Jake kept their composure on so they wouldn't blow everything up while Carlos is hurting deep inside. Alex felt the rush immediately and her head went light. She cannot control her limbs any longer and she looks like she's about to pass out but for some reason, she's still awake.

"See? She's conscious. The room on the right is available Carlos", Isaac said.

Carlos nodded and carried Alex in his arms. Frank relaxed a bit when he saw the way he carried her like he's afraid he will break her. He knows that he cares about her.

"Now, let's talk business", Isaac turned to them.

* * *

Carlos locked the door and put Alex to bed. He opened a bottle of water on the table and put on a piece of cloth to wipe her face.

"What the hell are you doing here, Alex? I know you're working and all but this is no place for you. What are you thinking? Is your team trying to get you killed or something?" he exclaimed to half conscious Alex as he wipes her face with the damp cloth.

She looked at him and despite the haze and blurriness, she can see him clearly, the man that made her fell in love so fast she wasn't able to control it.

"I didn't know you got out", she muttered.

"I did. I would've told you but a buddy of mine called me. I owe him a favor so I need to do this job for him so we can call it even. After that, I was planning on seeing you", he explained and then took a good look at her face. "I am not planning on going back to this world. I made that promise to myself in prison. If I want to be with you, I can't be living this life. Sorry if you have to see me like this, in this place. I need to do it so I can be free", he added.

Alex smiled at him and gently brushed his face with her fingers.

"I would've accepted you either way. You know I wasn't able to resist you even before. I mean, you're part of the group I was targeting and I fell in love with you. Call it lack of better judgment but I don't regret it. The only thing I did regret is that I have to be the one to send you to jail", she said.

Carlos smiled back at the love of his life. Suddenly, he noticed her hands roaming around his body uncontrollably. It's not that he doesn't like it, but he knows Alex. She's not like that. She's not aggressive and certainly she wouldn't do that while working. It is the drugs. It's taking effect on her and she cannot help it.

"Alex…stop. Come on. This is not why I volunteered to get you here. I did that to save you from those guys out there. Once your buddies are done out there, then you'll be safe", he tried to explain but she only nodded and still continued what she's doing.

Carlos is a strong man and got a lot of reserve but he's not immune to Alex. She's his weakness. She lied to him and busted him herself and still, he loves her.

"Alex, you don't want to do this, not like this. This isn't you", he muttered trying his best not to grab her and feel her after being away from her for some time.

"Of course, it's me", she whispered and then held on to the back of his neck and pulled herself up and kissed him.

That's it.

He wrapped his arms around her body and kissed her with such passion she has never known in her life. Now, it's his hands exploring her body as she let out moans here and there. It's exactly how imagined it with her, hot, passionate, full of love…and Alex on drugs? The reality crept back in Carlos and he pushed her away.

"No…not like this, Alex. I do want you and you know that but not like this. I know that this is not how you want to do it either so stop", he said while a startled Alex looked back at him.

* * *

Back in the lounge, Frank and Jake did their best to expedite the transaction. Frank offered almost three hundred grand for Alex which took Isaac by surprise. Jake only demanded a little so it would be easy for Isaac to say yes. He will earn a lot with Alex, he thought.

"Do you have the check?" Isaac asked Frank and he nodded.

"It's blank so you can write any name you want on it", he answered and handed the check over to Isaac.

He signaled one of his men and few seconds later, he handed him a thick envelope. Isaac then gave it to Jake.

"It's for starters. Give me more girls like Katya and I will give you an increase", he said.

Jake faked a smile of appreciation.

"You can count on me", Jake said.

"Get the girl. Mr. Armstrong has an appointment", Isaac ordered his guys who left to get Alex and Carlos.

The two came out and saw that Alex is pretty much out of it. Frank carried Alex and eyed Carlos a thank you before leaving. Once Jake and Frank left with Alex, Carlos also made his exit as he knows a raid will come next.


	4. Chapter 4

The operation was successful. Isaac and his gang were arrested and all the women they got in their possession were rescued. Meanwhile, the team brought Alex back to their office. She's already sweating and from the looks of it, she's having a withdrawal from the drugs. The team took care of her and never left her side. They took turn monitoring her.

It's Jake's turn to watch Alex inside Frank's office where she's lying on his sofa. Frank, Cody and Monica rested in another room.

"Who was that guy, Carlos?" Frank finally asked.

He got his comms on when Carlos and Alex were talking inside the room but he didn't pay attention because he's doing transaction with Isaac.

"He's the man that she loves", Monica answered. "I think he's the only man she ever loved that much to be honest. Even when she first got here, she kept her focus on the job, never have the time to have relationships with others but Carlos broke down her walls, her gate, hell, the entire house. Even she's undercover, she fell for him and he fell for her. Anyway, the time has come to make the arrest and Alex knew Carlos won't go down without a fight. She wasn't even supposed to be there that night but she cannot let him die so she revealed herself to him as a federal agent and arrested him herself. It's the only way to keep him alive. She knew he wouldn't fight her", she added.

"Yeah…that was tough. She's never been the same since. Well, she's an open book but she does share from time to time. After Carlos, she distanced herself and grew quieter than usual. I know she visited him once to ask permission to use his name for Sonny Walker. Keller forbid her to do so and told her that she didn't need to ask for permission but she went anyway and when she came back, she's pretty shaken", Cody added.

Monica studied the look on her boss' face. She can see he's analyzing Alex in his mind.

"Alex is a great listener. She gives good advice and a good friend. She'll always be there for the people she cares about. There's no question about it. She kept her feelings to herself though. She doesn't let anyone in that easily because she doesn't want to expect and get hurt. It's only natural", Monica said to ease Frank's mind.

"Does any of you know how she become a federal agent? I know she's a former US attorney but why did she exchange that life for this?" Frank asked.

Cody turned his head to Monica to do the explaining.

"You didn't see that in her file because she conjured up a whole story to hide the fact that she got sick of those criminals escaping jail time because of some technicalities. Missing piece of evidence, no probable cause…you can name the other stuff they say in court. Even though she's a great attorney, when it comes to technicalities, there's nothing she could do about it so she thought of joining the force so she can do something about that problem. She wanted to make sure all the evidences are present and gathered and they are strong enough to put those bad guys in prison for a long time", Monica answered.

She's right. That's not in her file. He read it and the one stated there is she wanted to have a change of scenery in public service. He now gets why she's so dedicated in getting the job done and getting the target. It must be frustrating for her to see those criminals got away with their crimes.

"I feel like she's cracking inside", Frank muttered.

He expected the two to disagree with him but they didn't. He looked at them and saw affirmation in their eyes.

"The smoking got worse. She used to consume a pack per day but now she's up to two sometimes three", Cody said.

"…not to mention the heavy drinking at night and the excessive coffee at daytime", Monica added.

So everyone is seeing it, Frank thought.

"Any suggestions how to deal with Alex?" Frank asked for Monica's opinion.

She gave him a sigh.

"You're not getting rid of her because she wants this job. The assignment before tonight's was tough and tonight's even worse. That's bound to take a huge toll. Give her some time off. A week, perhaps. She will protest but she will recognize your authority", she answered.

That sounds reasonable for him.

"Thank you", he replied.

* * *

Alex did protest about the time off but realize that she needed it. She's still experiencing the side effects of the drugs on her body. Sometimes her legs are shaking for no reason and so are her hands which she cannot hide from everyone each time she smokes.

"What will you do in your week off?" Jake asked.

"Stay at home. Watch TV. Eat. Smoke. Sleep", she answered.

"I envy you", he teased and Alex laughed a little. It's brief but Jake is glad to hear it either way. "You take care of yourself. Relax and get back here when you're ready", he said turning serious.

"Thank you, Jake. I know you and Frank did your best to speed up that deal with Isaac so you can get me out. Thank you. Do me a favor and thank Frank for me. Tell him I appreciate his concern", she said.

Jake nodded.

"I will", he said and Alex left and went in her car to go home.

* * *

Alex did exactly what she told Jake. She stayed home and watched some TV while smoking in her living room when someone knocked on her door. She readied her gun behind her back and walked towards the door. She then opened it and saw Carlos standing outside.

"Have you had dinner yet? I got some pizza", he said.

Alex smiled.

"No, I haven't and I am starving. Come on in", she said and let him in her house then she closed the door.


End file.
